Breastfeeding or Bottle? What is Best? What is Best for You?
Here is a phenomenon. When writing about something you are passionate about, you have no struggle in working up the necessary anger and engagement to get the piece going.
Sometimes though, if you write about it too much, you lose the anger, you lose the passion you have to make a convincing read and to make yourself finish the task. I hear it is a particular problem for stand-up comedians. Portraying the required interest and commitment to a subject when you are telling it for the 45th time that year.
That is what is great about this subject. No matter how many times I write about it, no matter how often I talk about it, I will never run out of the vitriol and aggression I hold in my views, and more importantly in support of the women under the kosh. Allow me to elaborate,
My issue in this is aimed at the attitude of health-services and breast-feeding parents that consider it a better thing and by extension, that they are better people. Oh, I tell you, we are in for a ride here.
I am not anti-breastfeeding. If we could have done it, we would have. For the bonding and the supposed health benefits. I am sure though that neither my wife or I would have ever considered it a absolute must.
In short, this is to support women who either cannot or choose not, to breast-feed. It is a piece that is going to spit at idiot-buzzwords like "empowering" and it is going to poke a bulldozer at that most ludicrous of myths, that breastfeeding in public is frowned upon. It will smash a falsehood that is fodder for the smug, toffee-nosed mum's who go around telling people that is frowned upon in public and that "they know someone" who was told to do it somewhere else, or they "got some nasty looks" when they did it. Let me settle this once and for all, people could not care less. They really could not. If people look at you doing it, it is purely because you are doing something out of the ordinary. they will then just get back to what they were doing while you plan to embellish on it later on Facebook for attention. Score one for the empty-headed lemons.
Why do I get so angry about it? The answer is the hell my wife went through. She could not breast-feed. The baby would not latch. None of the nurses that were constantly coming in and out of the room (she was re-admitted three days after release due to baby losing weight) ever suggested the bottle. That was until, after another day of baby squawking and my wife crying from fear and exhaustion, a guardian angel appeared. This time in the form of a nurse who had to sneak in quietly, warn us that she would lose her job if they knew she was doing this, and suggest that we give the bottle a try. We told the other nurses we wanted to try this, they said in a shower of hauteur that it was "up to us" and so went out and bought the stuff needed. It changed that moment. Baby got fed and we took her home and got (some) sleep.
What sort of sick world are we in when a wonderful nurse like that felt she had to behave in such a way to ensure the health of a mother and baby. Is it censorship? yes, in away. It is still much more than that. I was sickened by the hospital's approach, but here is where the bile is left for them. I move on to the worst of the kind: "Proud to be Breast-feeding" mum's.
Just saying it makes me cross. The smug, arrogant, t-shirt wearing, join-our-group-if =-you-use-the-boob fascist covens. They make me want to go postal. I cannot stress how sickened I am by them. The behavior, the replies to other mothers not breastfeeding, the championing of something that involves no skill or ability and rubbishing of those that can't. It is so fucking arbitrary. It is like boasting a blood type or an eye colour! Hey, I secrete enzymes YEAH !!
My wife then had to put up with being asked in an accusatory tone in mother-and-baby groups: "So you DON'T breastfeed then?" and scrolling through support groups she cannot join because the people in it have tits that work differently. At a time that is emotionally draining, to have other women put them down.
So to the women struggling or those that just want to bottle-feed. Okay, the evidence states that breastfeeding is better for babies. I do not dispute that. What I dispute is the fact that you will ever notice the difference. My daughter was bottle-fed. She is top of her class, she has hardly ever been ill. Never had a stomach-bug, she is a bright-spark, healthy, and developed. Do not fear or question it. You do as you feel.
Do not let the emblem-sporting desperate, bitter, ugly-hearted, morons who have pages, discussions, groups, trophies, and slogans get the better of you, as that is exactly what they seek.
Am I talking about you? Let us see. Do you belong to a mothers group that excludes bottle-feeders? If yes, then yes. I am talking to you.
Why? Because you spread fear, persecution, and hatred. If someone started a group that was only for white people, that would be wrong. You are excluding people for a natural occurrence. Dress it up any way you wish, it is the truth.
Say all you like that it helps you get through a tough time or whatever bollocks you plump for, but it is elitism at its worst. If you want support, join a mother and baby group. Joining a group that excludes people for choices is exactly the thing support groups are supposed to eradicate.
It is like people with healthy T Cell counts starting Non-HIV support groups. What about two-legged people starting discussion groups, excluding wheelchair users. Maybe it could be people who can do that make-a-loop thing with their tongues segregating from those that cannot.
Australian senator Larissa Waters Makes a point of breastfeeding in Parliament: Notice how no-one around could care less. The smug, beatific smile, and the publication show this was a pompous and self-congratulatory PR exercise and a flimsy attempt at grandstanding
The answer is "We get comments and nasty looks and told to leave places" Well firstly, no you don't. I don't know anyone who has. If you speak to any breastfeeding nazi, and she is always citing an example that happened to someone else, or something incalculable: A dirty look, or rolled eyes.
The fact is if it is in a private establishment, the person who owns it should be able to make whatever decision they want. If they don't want people with curly hair or people with too much earwax in their place of business, that is up to them. Just leave and do not return. Breastfeeding is not special. They act like they are benevolence-soaked "mothers of the earth". It is so daft, it is just doing something billions have done before them (much more quietly) and will do after them.
In truth though, it does not really happen. I have seen hundreds of women breastfeed in public. Never seen one be told to leave or be remarked at. Have you. If you have, leave in the comments section when and where it happened. I predict an empty section.
Have I ever seen anyone pick on someone for breastfeeding? NO
Have I ever seen a breast-feeder pick on a bottle-feeder? FUCK YES