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Ten Most Annoying Females on Screen

We have done, and we have seen endless lists about irksome male characters. Pauly Shore in anything, Ross Geller from the prequel to 'Joey', the way Danny Glover character's cannot express emotion without jolting at the same time as if he is getting tazed, or most of Jonah Hills co-starring roles.

Let us not be accused of sexism, there is a top ten annoying males right here

Also, if you have not guessed, it is a bit tongue-in-cheek and if you cannot take it, go and sit somewhere else with your blank placard and well-used Sharpie pen waiting for something you can pretend to be offended by. Nicely Put is a place for grown-ups.



Bronagh Gallagher as Bernie in The Commitments:

I know Andrew Strong's character was a bit of a dick, but Bernie was foul-mouthed, abusive, bullying and mean-spirited. Clearly insecure at being the ugliest girl in the band, the short hair and instant scowl makes her a total turn-off. Imelda was also a cow but at least a cow with reason.

She makes fun of Deco for his acne, calls him fat and ugly, then physically assaults him. Spending the whole movie as the short-haired tomboy with an attitude.

Then when the Deco decides to leave the band (presumably fed up of her thicko jibes) she says to him with idiotic condescension and failed humour: "You're already in a band or hadn't you bleedin' noticed" (using that sort of moronic rhetorical sarcasm that only stupid people can truly carry off).

In the summary the narrator says of her "Nice girl, but terrible taste in music". Not one thing she does or says in the entire film shows that she could ever be described as a "nice girl". Seriously, she is just a bitch.

Helen Hunt as Carol Connelly in As Good as it Gets

Happy to delay commuters so she can wave goodbye (in the most aggressive personal-space-invading ever seen) to her kid, insults the sexual pride of a man who did her a service (albeit oddly misguided), whines and bitches about her life but scoffs at anyone who suggests change, flips out at her benefactor for the mildest of (as she well-knew) unmeant insults.

Make usual noises about equality and strength and all that shit but still demands a compliment from her date on threat of walking out on him if it is not good enough. True feminism in action.

Blessed with that self-obsessed "I'm-okay-at-being-brutally-honest thing as long as it is one-way. Her gratuitously entitled ego is inked in by

her presumption that the world must care about her sick son. Yet when Melvin makes a gesture that completely renovates everything, she does nothing but exasperate and challenge him with her vain expectations and ludicrous reactions.

Ditch her Jack

Vanessa Marcil as Carla Pestlarossi in The Rock

"Like hell I'm not coming" Snotty little brat. There is clearly a situation that is bigger than you going on. Then you turn up and expect special treatment. Your partner tried to save your life and your arrogance and babyish behaviour put you, he, and all of San Francisco at risk.

This would not have been an issue if you had listened to Stan, I can understand if he was aggressive or abusive, but you hung up on him, causing him to be scared and jittery and potentially causing many deaths due to spoilt petulance. Never hang up on your partner.

Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffet in Friends

Just stop trying to be weird. You are fooling no one (of merit). Like all people who come across as "kooky", you are boring, unimaginative, and totally ordinary, and what’s more, you are very aware of it. In one episode: "The One with the Boobies" (Oh look they refer to each episode as 'the one with....'how very postmodern. Also, they say boobies, so they are also not taking themselves too seriously...'sigh' Dear Marta Kaufmann: Please unscramble this anagram: "smug cnut") there is a psychiatrist who sums them all up so accurately that I almost enjoyed it.

Bottom line is, anyone who has loud/eccentric clothes/expressions/politics/ideas or leads with their sexuality (so all of them) is pretty much likely to be very boring and repressed underneath and requires distracting trinkets to deflect their natural tedium excess.

Rutina Wesley as Tara Thornton in True Blood

Terri True Blood. Best friends with Sookie, somehow. A remarkable thing considering they never share any closeness. She is rude, aggressive, entitled, and ungrateful.

Unendearingly, plays the race card to the point that Chris Rock would consider garish. She is principled and has a stiff moral code but with no actual values or behaviour to earn it. Rather she just uses it to be rude and aggressive to people

Regina King as Marcy Tidwell in Jerry Maguire

You are not the first person to be pregnant so stop mentioning it as if it is a proper excuse for being rude and lazy. One of those who things being loud and rude is the same as being strong and independent.

Also control your fucking kid, lady. That is someone’s office he is wrecking and reminding everyone you are pregnant in every scene is just reminding everyone you are not up to it.

Telling Jerry that you know the four most valuable marketing products for sports-endorsed advertising is does not make you a player. That is something that even back then, could have been done in a quick AOL search or a few minutes in a library.

Of course, you forget what a c**t you were to poor Jerry when you want him to make sure your meal tick.... sorry, husband is safe. Using your hands to assault his brother because that is about your only level. sorry, but pleading poverty and suffrage when you have two kids and live-in siblings and are refusing paid work because it may hurt your husband (who has a stinking attitude too) and his imagined integrity even though you clearly live in a very spacious house. Get past yourself woman. When Rod is injured in the last game and she begs Jerry to get him back safe, I would have cheered for Jerry had he just said: "Go call Bob Sugar."

Tilda Swinton as Sal in The Beach

My wife is chilled. The ONLY thing I ever said that upset her is that when she dries her hair she looks like "Sal" from Danny Boyle's The Beach.

There is reason for her ire. The gaslighting, sexually manipulative, despotic, and ideologically unsound de-facto leader of the hedonistic travellers encountered by Leo DiCaprio and his two mates is, in the nicest way, an annoying cunt.

She cons Richard (Leo), promising not to reveal his blunder of sharing the idyllic secret beach location with the idiotic Sam and Zeph providing he fucks her. Post coitus she promises not to tell his girlfriend or her boyfriend. As soon as they return, she emotionally blackmails Richard into a horrid task and instantly reneges and tells everyone about the sex anyway!

It is also little things. Like the way the arrogant bitch lies there on her side, clumsily trying to emulate the famous statue of Wat Pho's reclining Buddha.

This is while one character, the poor, sweet-natured Gregorio, is writhing in toothache agony. He begs her to allow him to visit a dentist and she refuses, to the amuesment of all involved. This refusal by Sal is also tacit agreement to allowing her unlikeable boyfriend, Bugs, to remove Greg's tooth. This is by a procedure using unsterilised equipment, clueless operatives, and using illicit hooch as aftercare, which as any dental practitioner will tell you could cause severe issues, not excluding death.

Her despotic lunacy and egostistic arrogance culminates with her demanding murders be committed on her behalf. She even attempts to execute Richard to save herself.

If you haven't seen the movie and read the book you will be lost Suffice to say that those who only saw the movie should know that the book ending is way different and way, way better.

Tea Leoni as Julie Mott in Bad Boys

From the scene on the way to the doomed party, her smug and self-congratulatory quipping immediately makes you dislike her. Then when she phones the police for help, the entitled bitch keeps making demands and then having the nuts to complain about the outcome.

Eventually, her over-emotional naivete, thinking that her one friend dying outranks the other innocents who the villain, Puchet, kills joyfully she goes off and fucks it all up just as Lowry and Burnett are closing in. Then the gobby cunt has the nerve to complain about not being protected.

Near the end, as it is not exactly how she wants it, she stomps off in a bratty huff, leading to more innocent deaths, and continues to make annoying and unfunny epigrams. Also STOP FUCKING PAUSING FOR BREATH MID-SENTENCE YOU FUCKING AMATUER

Edie Falco as Carmela "Carm" Soprano in The Sopranos

The queen of hypocrisy. A materialistic snob, and a self-deluding Christian who dips into her faith like an avocado spread expecting to wear it as a halo.

There are 8 seasons of bourgeois soccer-mom arrogance to choose from so broad strokes only

She humiliates herself trying to talk literature with her college daughter proving herself as phoney as she is out of her depth, she often berates Tony but expects him to use his might to get her own way when she wants it.

She uses his name to threaten a teacher into recommending her daughter for a certain school, a school she did not wish to go to, but Carmella decided she should. The frightened teacher complied. Carmella knew this meant a disadvantaged child already recommended would lose any chance of a scholarship. Her daughter never attended the school anyway.

She looks down on her old friends. How big the house is matters a great deal to her. In a hilarious scene, one of them tells her (after Carm treated her like a slave in front of her snooty fundraising pals) that she once screwed Tony, and could have had him, but chose her husband. This dents her ego satisfyingly

Then there is the separation. She kicks Tony out, and demands half of the money and the house. Tony tells her to go fuck herself, reminding her that she was accessory and knew all along where the money came from. Her double standards and entitled selfishness make her one of the most contemptible characters ever. Also, one that is overlooked. She is a lot deeper and more twisted than people realise and I do not think Edie Falco gets the proper recognition for the spectacular job she did portraying her all these years.

Elisha Cuthbert as Kim Bauer in 24 ***SPOILERS***

Once again, we have way too many seasons and episodes to choose from. I was unsure of whether to chose her, or a couple of the honourable mentions

Kim won out for her staunch commitment to annoyingness.

Firstly, her bratty behaviour causes the events of season 1 as she falls under Ira Gaines plot. That was annoying enough but it could also be looked at (if you were looking to justify) as a youthful Hijinx gone disastrously wrong and that mostly these things to not lead to mass murder and terrorist plots that lead to death on an unprecedented scale.

However, after her father gets her out, she continues to disobey him by trying to help her kidnapper. Not her father, the hero federal counterterrorist agent whose strength, wit, and bravery are constantly saving hers and other lives. No, she wants to help the guy who pumped her now-dead best friend full of heroin after the other one broke her arm.

Next series she has the balls to be angry at her dad for her mother’s murder. Something that would not have happened had she not ran away. Yet she continues to cause trouble. With the most annoyingly whiney kid in tow (that somehow looks like an old woman) she again puts herself in danger against advice and causes trouble.

Jack then gets her a job at CTU (even though she would not have been qualified as she was a babysitter in her twenties and CTU analysts train from school and must be the best of the best to get in. So, nepotism aside (Chloe knows) she is under Jacks eye (although that eye is full of heroin, but it is Jack so we all know he could kick the Opium Poppy’s ass any day). So, to show her thanks she starts ploughing one of the agents. Causing further issues.

Then she comes back AGAIN. This time with a smug psychiatrist in tow. He has convinced her to blame Jack for her struggles. Have a guess how Jack takes to this fellow.

Yet he still shows Kim endless love. He never rejects or scolds her even though for at least the first four series she does nothing but disappoint and cause danger for herself, Jack, CTU, and the world.

Sorry but just watched Four Weddings sand have to add one:

Andie Macdowell as Carrie: Four Wedings and a Funeral

Oh my shit she is one annoying bitch! I think this must be the actress too though. Her voice is weirdly dubbed on. She has no air or grace and always looks like she is about to fall. She has no chemistry with Grant and yet everyone else does.

Then the character. I know everyone knows the standard "Was it still raining" line. There are others:

Hugh: "We can still get to know each other the night is young"

Andie: "Oh I think we both know thats a big lie"

A big lie? Fuck off lady, who do you think you are talking too? A fib, not true, whatever. "A big lie" Woah steady on Cruella! Then to underline it she walks off! Jeez what a cow!

We also have the absurd, lazy, and totally misrepreantative and awkwardly spliced John Lennon quote from the song; "Mind Games" which is retarded and awkward.

"Love is the answer, and you know that for sure"

That makes no sense whatsoever and is cheapening a great piece of work into a soundbite. That would be forgivable if it worked BUT IT DOESN'T

How this film ever got big is tetstament to every other cast member. How great it could have been with more Kristen Scott-Thomas who IS a splendid actress. Andie Macdowell is responsible for this and making me watch fucking Green Card. She can do one.

According to Wikipedia she was recently voted as one of the most annoying characters in movie history although if you follow the verification it takes you to a Vanity Fair article on JJ Abrams. Go figure.

Toni Collette as Fiona: About a Boy

At Nicely Put we think Toni Colette is great. She can do sultry sex-kitten one day and... this the next. A self-righteous dogmatic hippy who, like most hippies, has a staunch code of rules but no actual value or actions to back it up. Happily allowing her poor kid to go out to a North London comprehensive secondary school dressed like a -as Russell Brand once perfectly put it- "Nan kid." Spouting her smug and arrogant rhetoric about "being yourself" (which meant "be like me") as she made him wear lace-ups, charity-shop mismatched ensembles, and makes him say "I love you" in front of the baying wolves in the playground as she kisses him goodbye, to underline how much he "isn't a sheep." Needless to say he was bullied mercilessly. Poor kid keeps it quiet for fear of upsetting her. Then she tries to top herself, leaving her son, a twelve-year-old, to find her puke-covered would-be cadaver. Then she has the nerve to accuse her son's newly discovered older friend of inappropriate behaviour. North London new age narcissistic rope-swing. Remember when you were a teenager and briefly being a bit of a hippy new-age kook held some appeal? Then you soon realised that it is a stupid way to be and grew up? Well some people never hit that trip switch. The excellent Miss Colette has it down to a tee here

Honourable Mentions

Laura Lydon: High Fidelity

Marie De Salle: High Fidelity

Terri Bauer: 24

Dana Brody: Homeland

Bella Swan: Twilight

Janice Baccalierri: the Sopranos

Dr Amy Farrah-Fowler The Big Bang Theory

Bernadette Wolowitz: The Big Bang Theory


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